Thursday 2 February 2012

I’m a what…?

I have been called a lot of things (lol), but an athlete? You must be mistaken. I am a middle-aged, working mother of two, who has a passion for a few sports – not an athlete.  My belief is that an athlete is someone who makes a living doing a sport.  So, if I’m not an athlete, what am I?  My kids call me obsessed, and they say this (of course) in the most loving way – or is it in an accusatory way, I get confused.

Don’t get me wrong, every time I hear “Athlete”,  I LOVE it. 

“Let me introduce Carmen, she is one of our coached athletes.”

It has a nice ring to it, don’t you think.  But is it true?  I Googled the word and here is what it said:

athlete [ˈæθliːt]
1. a person trained to compete in sports or exercises involving physical strength, speed, or endurance
2. a person who has a natural aptitude for physical activities
3. a competitor in track and field events

So, do I qualify? Let’s see…

1. I do Triathlons - check
2. I am pretty good at cycling - check
3. I train on a track, does that count?… Pretty close.

So I was wrong, according to this, I am an athlete. I guess I could have figured this on my own, if I just looked at the changes in my life. So I created my own checklist:

 athlete (female)

1. a person who… no longer cares what her hair looks like and even considers cutting it all off, but her husband would divorce her. So, she lives in a ponytail.

2. a person who… no longer puts makeup on in the morning because it just sweats off at the evening workout.

3. a person who… no longer cares about what she wears to the gym because if she doesn’t care about her hair or make-up, nobody is going to look at her anyway.

4. a person who… does twice as much laundry, and if she gets a little behind her laundry room smells like a locker room.

5. a person whose… magazine collection changes from fashion and decorating tips to sports and equipment comparison guides.

6. a person who… eats more in her car or at the gym then she does at home.

7. a person who… when working out, people at her club start asking her questions because they think she works there.

8. a person whose… main vacations are now centered around race events.

9. a person whose… family doctor tells her that he not qualified to help with her problem and he will refer her to a sports doctor.

10. a person who … when she works out for one hour, it means it’s a recovery or down day.

12. a person who…goes shopping for a new pair of shoes and most often buys them at a sport store.

13. a person who…feels like she is always taking a shower.

14. a person whose…water bottle collection is getting out of control. She even has made a special drawer and/or shelf for them.

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